7 days into a mini-retirement of sorts, I've been contemplating and reflecting on many things ...
- What transpired to get us to this point?
- Why we chose to do what we're doing at this very moment in our lives?
- What lies ahead? Where do we go from here?
- What do all the trigger events (that caused us to make this leap of faith) mean?
- How do we make the most of this mini-retirement?
- What are the key priorities in our lives?
- How is my self-identity redefined given my newly-found unemployed status?
- What memories do I want to create during this "down" time?
- How can I make sure that this "down" time is not just about me and us but it's also about giving back and passing on what we've been super fortunate to receive?
- Who do I really want to be when I grow up (I hope I never grow up)
- What is going to be my legacy?...
... questions of all kinds swirl around in my head - some I pause to ponder on, others just flit across the screen of my mind only to come back later, still others do the very same peek-a-boo tease that I'm trying to perfect with our 7-month old daughter! Something I read a long time ago comes to mind "When lamenting to a friend about the lack of clear and explicit answers to existential questions in a protagonist's life, their friend replied ... "Maybe you're asking the wrong questions!!!" " ... so, I don't know if the questions that I've briefly spelled out above are the wrong questions but, if nothing else, they are making me reflect on things and the amazing thing is that they are not making me overly anxious about the future despite there obviously being a lot of uncertainity right now ... something that Margaret Drabble (English novelist, biographer and critic) said eloquently comes to mind "When nothing is sure, everything is possible" and so it is with a great deal of hope and faith, we have embarked (as a family) on the road less traveled.
In this blog post, I wanted to jot down (type up) my thoughts and outline the Top 6 reasons on why I quit my perfectly good job at a perfectly good company! But, before I do that, some background:
Since late 2004, I have had the amazing fortune to work at one of the world's most admired companies - in the 8+ years that I was there (still feels a little strange to use past tense), I've had many many amazing opportunities, been fortunate to experience many great experiences, and been blessed to create some amazing relationships - something that I am super super thankful for. During my employment, I've also had many personal milestones - got married soon after I started working here, had a baby shortly before I left! - through it all, the friendship and warmth of my colleagues has always blown me way - be it at the wedding shower that was hosted for us or the absolutely fantastic baby shower that was hosted to honor us just before the birth of our first child. Time and again, my work family has come through for those in need and it is true that the people here make it an absolutely remarkable place to work (perfectly good company, perfectly good job). On the other hand, one of my life goals has always been to take some kind of a mid-career break and "retire" while I still have the health and energy needed to pursue some passions - however, the traditional fears that bind us all (career prospects, job prospects, family obligations, societal pressures etc. etc.) prevented me from pursuing that life goal. About 12-months ago, the itch to really pursue this life goal became stronger than it had ever been before - at that point, given that we were 4-months from the arrival of our first-born, I could not see myself taking that "risk" and casting off into the unknown! Life being what it is and without going into too much detail, about 4-months ago an opportunity presented itself where the risk was mitigated to an extent (at least financially) and after some deliberation, we decided to take the plunge and just "go for it"! With that being said, here are the top 6 reasons why I quit my perfectly good job at a perfectly good company! The reasons below are followed by a corresponding life manifesto - in no particular order...
1. Life is short: All of us are routinely exposed to the fragility of life - be it through the passing of a loved one or the sudden onset of a friend's illness - yet, despite our initial shock and sadness at these events, we continue to live our life in much the same way that we did before these events transpired. I decided that it was no longer acceptable to me to put off the things that I've always wanted to do and that I did not want to "die wondering". Ten years from now, I did not want to be in a position where I thought to myself "what if I'd taken that leap of faith" or "what if I'd done something crazy" ... Regret, truly, is like a cancer and now, more than ever before, I choose to live a life that minimizes regrets.
2a. Happiness is an inside job: Too often we make our happiness contingent on an external person, external event, external "thing". Sure other people's moods and idiosyncrasies affect us, sure material possessions bring some joy with them but it's also true that when the only person who has the remote control on your life is you, chances of your being happier are a lot higher! Tuning into my intuition and gut led me to the conclusion that this "leap of faith" was worth taking!
2b. Happiness is in the journey, not in the destination: Related to what I said above, why wait to feel "happy" when you get that next promotion, new house, new car, new significant other etc. etc. If you wait then soon after you get your next promotion or next car, you'll be pining for something else... I'm now fairly convinced that if you choose to be "happy" then all those other things you "need" and "want" will flow from that. A mounting body of scientific evidence supports the notion that being "happy" comes prior to external "happy" events vs. the other way around.
3a. Aiyana: Our 7-month old daughter lights up our life and she's only going to be this age, once in her life. I want to spend as much time with her as possible and be eligible for "dad of the year" honors! I only see her existing in 2 states of being with both states often being simultaneous in their manifestation. State 1: Love Magnet - she is an automatic magnet for love - even when she's crying/howling, even when she's sound asleep, even when she's quiet and contemplative. State 2: Love transmitter - truly children love unconditionally, deeply and without holding back. I'm totally inspired by her and wonder why we, adults, choose (consciously or unconsciously) to stop existing in those 2 states at all times. As she grows up and acclimatizes to the vagaries and realities of life and looks up to us for guidance, I want to look her in the eye and say "be bold, take some risk, be creative - just look at what your crazy parents have done". Trying to practice what I preach - easier said than done!
3b. Anshu: Family means a lot to me and if I don't make that a priority, I will only stand to lose. Temporarily free from the run of day-to-day work life, I am looking forward to spending quality time with my wonderful girlfriend and wife (yes, it's the same person)! :-)
3c. Family: I do not ever want to regret that I did not give my loved ones the time that I could have when I had the option - that is my need even though it may not always be their need! This mini-retirement gives us an opportunity to spend time with our extended family which is very important to us! And it gives Aiyana an opportunity to get to know her grandparents, uncles and aunts!
4. Passion is powerful: Read any (auto)biography and follow any successful businessperson, sportsperson, artist etc. etc. and you'll see that one common thread that ties them together is the passion for what they do - a great job certainly provides a lot of fulfillment but I was starting to ask myself routinely "what is my legacy going to be" and "will this be truly what defines me" after I'm gone. I don't know the answer for certain but want to explore what other experiences I can leverage to build a lasting legacy. And it is in search of that true passion that we're casting off from safe harbor!
5a. Dream big or go home: What is the point in living a good life when you know deep inside you that it can be even greater (measured by fulfillment, not by material wealth) ... so, if you have a dream, make it a big one and chase after it with all you've got! Anything else and you're just kidding yourself.
5b. Chasing your dreams is always worth it: Almost always, the pursuit of dreams is fraught with risk - Pursue them anyway! The world belongs to the "crazies" - the easiest thing in the world is to find excuses on why we can't do something. Something as simple as turning that around to "why you can do something" starts to open up all kinds of possibilities and doors! "Possibility thinking" certainly works for me!
6a. It all eventually works out: Looking back at my life, the events that caused me the greatest anguish also proved to some of the biggest disguised blessings! So, I have to trust that the pattern will continue going forward - to quote one of my inspirations, Steve Jobs, "you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path."
6b. Fear is limiting, Faith is empowering: My mom always said "Fear is the absence of faith and, conversely, faith is the absence of fear" so we decided that it was time to "Keep the faith" and "jump off the bridge and grow our wings on the way down" - in teen-speak, YOLO (You Only Live Once).
So, off we go - being full-time parents to our 7-month old daughter and exploring the world for the next 4-6 months; bonding as a family; learning and growing; pausing and reflecting; thinking and doing... I plan on updating this blog along the way so feel free to follow along as our family travels the road less traveled!
Life Manifesto (ever-evolving; in present tense and not future tense):
I live a life that minimizes regret.
I strive to be passionate in all areas of my life.
I strive to be a love magnet and a love transmitter.
I dream big.
I do not kid or cheat myself.
I own my things vs. letting them own me.
I am grateful.
I take the risks needed to chase my dreams.
I do not rely on the crutch of excuses that prevent me from living the life I want.
And, finally, a few inspiring thoughts/quotes that keep us motivated even when we're occassionally racked by self-doubt about going down this path. Thankfully the moments of self-doubt have been few and far between, thus far!
- What transpired to get us to this point?
- Why we chose to do what we're doing at this very moment in our lives?
- What lies ahead? Where do we go from here?
- What do all the trigger events (that caused us to make this leap of faith) mean?
- How do we make the most of this mini-retirement?
- What are the key priorities in our lives?
- How is my self-identity redefined given my newly-found unemployed status?
- What memories do I want to create during this "down" time?
- How can I make sure that this "down" time is not just about me and us but it's also about giving back and passing on what we've been super fortunate to receive?
- Who do I really want to be when I grow up (I hope I never grow up)
- What is going to be my legacy?...
... questions of all kinds swirl around in my head - some I pause to ponder on, others just flit across the screen of my mind only to come back later, still others do the very same peek-a-boo tease that I'm trying to perfect with our 7-month old daughter! Something I read a long time ago comes to mind "When lamenting to a friend about the lack of clear and explicit answers to existential questions in a protagonist's life, their friend replied ... "Maybe you're asking the wrong questions!!!" " ... so, I don't know if the questions that I've briefly spelled out above are the wrong questions but, if nothing else, they are making me reflect on things and the amazing thing is that they are not making me overly anxious about the future despite there obviously being a lot of uncertainity right now ... something that Margaret Drabble (English novelist, biographer and critic) said eloquently comes to mind "When nothing is sure, everything is possible" and so it is with a great deal of hope and faith, we have embarked (as a family) on the road less traveled.
In this blog post, I wanted to jot down (type up) my thoughts and outline the Top 6 reasons on why I quit my perfectly good job at a perfectly good company! But, before I do that, some background:
Since late 2004, I have had the amazing fortune to work at one of the world's most admired companies - in the 8+ years that I was there (still feels a little strange to use past tense), I've had many many amazing opportunities, been fortunate to experience many great experiences, and been blessed to create some amazing relationships - something that I am super super thankful for. During my employment, I've also had many personal milestones - got married soon after I started working here, had a baby shortly before I left! - through it all, the friendship and warmth of my colleagues has always blown me way - be it at the wedding shower that was hosted for us or the absolutely fantastic baby shower that was hosted to honor us just before the birth of our first child. Time and again, my work family has come through for those in need and it is true that the people here make it an absolutely remarkable place to work (perfectly good company, perfectly good job). On the other hand, one of my life goals has always been to take some kind of a mid-career break and "retire" while I still have the health and energy needed to pursue some passions - however, the traditional fears that bind us all (career prospects, job prospects, family obligations, societal pressures etc. etc.) prevented me from pursuing that life goal. About 12-months ago, the itch to really pursue this life goal became stronger than it had ever been before - at that point, given that we were 4-months from the arrival of our first-born, I could not see myself taking that "risk" and casting off into the unknown! Life being what it is and without going into too much detail, about 4-months ago an opportunity presented itself where the risk was mitigated to an extent (at least financially) and after some deliberation, we decided to take the plunge and just "go for it"! With that being said, here are the top 6 reasons why I quit my perfectly good job at a perfectly good company! The reasons below are followed by a corresponding life manifesto - in no particular order...
1. Life is short: All of us are routinely exposed to the fragility of life - be it through the passing of a loved one or the sudden onset of a friend's illness - yet, despite our initial shock and sadness at these events, we continue to live our life in much the same way that we did before these events transpired. I decided that it was no longer acceptable to me to put off the things that I've always wanted to do and that I did not want to "die wondering". Ten years from now, I did not want to be in a position where I thought to myself "what if I'd taken that leap of faith" or "what if I'd done something crazy" ... Regret, truly, is like a cancer and now, more than ever before, I choose to live a life that minimizes regrets.
2a. Happiness is an inside job: Too often we make our happiness contingent on an external person, external event, external "thing". Sure other people's moods and idiosyncrasies affect us, sure material possessions bring some joy with them but it's also true that when the only person who has the remote control on your life is you, chances of your being happier are a lot higher! Tuning into my intuition and gut led me to the conclusion that this "leap of faith" was worth taking!
2b. Happiness is in the journey, not in the destination: Related to what I said above, why wait to feel "happy" when you get that next promotion, new house, new car, new significant other etc. etc. If you wait then soon after you get your next promotion or next car, you'll be pining for something else... I'm now fairly convinced that if you choose to be "happy" then all those other things you "need" and "want" will flow from that. A mounting body of scientific evidence supports the notion that being "happy" comes prior to external "happy" events vs. the other way around.
3a. Aiyana: Our 7-month old daughter lights up our life and she's only going to be this age, once in her life. I want to spend as much time with her as possible and be eligible for "dad of the year" honors! I only see her existing in 2 states of being with both states often being simultaneous in their manifestation. State 1: Love Magnet - she is an automatic magnet for love - even when she's crying/howling, even when she's sound asleep, even when she's quiet and contemplative. State 2: Love transmitter - truly children love unconditionally, deeply and without holding back. I'm totally inspired by her and wonder why we, adults, choose (consciously or unconsciously) to stop existing in those 2 states at all times. As she grows up and acclimatizes to the vagaries and realities of life and looks up to us for guidance, I want to look her in the eye and say "be bold, take some risk, be creative - just look at what your crazy parents have done". Trying to practice what I preach - easier said than done!
3b. Anshu: Family means a lot to me and if I don't make that a priority, I will only stand to lose. Temporarily free from the run of day-to-day work life, I am looking forward to spending quality time with my wonderful girlfriend and wife (yes, it's the same person)! :-)
3c. Family: I do not ever want to regret that I did not give my loved ones the time that I could have when I had the option - that is my need even though it may not always be their need! This mini-retirement gives us an opportunity to spend time with our extended family which is very important to us! And it gives Aiyana an opportunity to get to know her grandparents, uncles and aunts!
4. Passion is powerful: Read any (auto)biography and follow any successful businessperson, sportsperson, artist etc. etc. and you'll see that one common thread that ties them together is the passion for what they do - a great job certainly provides a lot of fulfillment but I was starting to ask myself routinely "what is my legacy going to be" and "will this be truly what defines me" after I'm gone. I don't know the answer for certain but want to explore what other experiences I can leverage to build a lasting legacy. And it is in search of that true passion that we're casting off from safe harbor!
5a. Dream big or go home: What is the point in living a good life when you know deep inside you that it can be even greater (measured by fulfillment, not by material wealth) ... so, if you have a dream, make it a big one and chase after it with all you've got! Anything else and you're just kidding yourself.
5b. Chasing your dreams is always worth it: Almost always, the pursuit of dreams is fraught with risk - Pursue them anyway! The world belongs to the "crazies" - the easiest thing in the world is to find excuses on why we can't do something. Something as simple as turning that around to "why you can do something" starts to open up all kinds of possibilities and doors! "Possibility thinking" certainly works for me!
6a. It all eventually works out: Looking back at my life, the events that caused me the greatest anguish also proved to some of the biggest disguised blessings! So, I have to trust that the pattern will continue going forward - to quote one of my inspirations, Steve Jobs, "you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path."
6b. Fear is limiting, Faith is empowering: My mom always said "Fear is the absence of faith and, conversely, faith is the absence of fear" so we decided that it was time to "Keep the faith" and "jump off the bridge and grow our wings on the way down" - in teen-speak, YOLO (You Only Live Once).
So, off we go - being full-time parents to our 7-month old daughter and exploring the world for the next 4-6 months; bonding as a family; learning and growing; pausing and reflecting; thinking and doing... I plan on updating this blog along the way so feel free to follow along as our family travels the road less traveled!
Life Manifesto (ever-evolving; in present tense and not future tense):
I live a life that minimizes regret.
I strive to be passionate in all areas of my life.
I strive to be a love magnet and a love transmitter.
I dream big.
I do not kid or cheat myself.
I own my things vs. letting them own me.
I am grateful.
I take the risks needed to chase my dreams.
I do not rely on the crutch of excuses that prevent me from living the life I want.
And, finally, a few inspiring thoughts/quotes that keep us motivated even when we're occassionally racked by self-doubt about going down this path. Thankfully the moments of self-doubt have been few and far between, thus far!
thanks for an inspiring post ! All the best my friend - Tyrone
ReplyDeleteAll the very very best to you all. You are doing the right thing and ALWAYS BELIEVE YOUR INNER VOICE. It is always true and you sleep really well too if you do that :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck matey and remember - there's loads of good wishes coming across the pond your way! - Geeta Sarcar
Awesome Sid, you're an inspirer...totally love your leap of faith. All the best to you ,Anshu and Aiyana for the wonderful plunge called LIVING...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this Sid. Reminds me of Eckhart tolle and his book A NEW EARTH. Here, below you may read about the power of not knowing! - BEST WISHES! Very inspiring and motivating! - Kamal (your AFGJI Classmate from Germany)
ReplyDeleteThe Power of Not Knowing - Eckhart Tolle
If there is unhappiness in you,
first you need to acknowledge that it is there.
But don't say, “I'm unhappy.”
Unhappiness has nothing to do with who you are.
Say: “There is unhappiness in me.”
Then investigate it.
A situation you find yourself in may have something to do with it.
Action may be required to change the situation or remove yourself from it.
If there is nothing you can do, face what is and say:
“Well, right now, this is how it is.
I can either accept it,
or make myself miserable.”
The primary cause of unhappiness isnever the situation but your thoughts about it.
Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.
Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is.
There is the situation or the fact,
and here are my thoughts about it.
Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts.
For example, “I am ruined” is a story.
It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action.
“I have fifty cents left in my bank account” is a fact.
Facing facts is always empowering.
Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel.
See the link between your thinking and your emotions.
Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awarenessbehind them.
Don't seek happiness.
If you seek it, you won't find it,
because seeking is the antithesis of happiness.
Happiness is ever elusive,
but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now,
by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.
Sid, You always inspire me Buddy! You are one of the few who continue to do that on a regular basis! So proud of you and your family and the friendship we share.
ReplyDeleteLove this - thanks for sharing! I can definitely see myself in a bunch of what you wrote. Enjoy your mini-retirement!
ReplyDeleteHighly motivating, Sid! All the very best to you & your family :)
ReplyDeleteI was a full time mom - Luckily i did not have to work and I raised my two boys who were one year apart with all the love in my heart and song of my soul.... It was a fantastic few years . Enjoy this time two of you! These memories will be yours and only yours to cherish... Aiyana will not remember but the love and warmth of the time spent with her will live on in her as she matures as a wonderful woman... God bless!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSid buddy, I guess you are the monk who stole the Ferrari. loved your life manifesto and Point 2B, happiness is actually in the journey, not in the destination.
ReplyDeletesid good to hear that just :THINK FROM YOUR HEART,I have been travelling on this road since long not easy but my philosphy of johhny uncle aka walker-keep walking ...... I have again started a new venture after quiting my last job.All the very best to 3 of you.give my love to aaina
ReplyDeleteluv
Gagan chachu